Rev. BigDumbChimp

No explanations please

2010-03-11T10:57:00.003-05:00

Hat tip LOL God

Busy busy busy.

2010-03-03T12:31:00.001-05:00

Sorry no posts in 2 months, but real life is busy busy busy.

Commenting

2010-01-04T21:47:00.001-05:00

I've just done the forced bullshit upgrade from haloscan to js-kit and comments are all fubar.

Not sure i even have time to spend dealing with it right now.

Kent Hovind's "doctoral dissertation" now available online

2009-12-09T13:33:00.004-05:00

Kent Hovind, previous owner of the dishonest Dinosaur Adventure land in Pensacola, convicted felon and known liar for Jesus, has a Ph.D.... sort of. It's from known diploma mill Patriot Bible University and is worth about as much as the paper it is printed on. Well he had to present his thesis back in the day and it's now available online.

And it's HILARIOUS.

Remember, it's a ..cough...cough... Doctoral disertation... snicker... and it starts like this.

Hello, my name is Kent Hovind. I am a creation/science evangelist. I live in Pensacola, Florida. I have been a high school science teacher since 1976. I've been very active in the creation/evolution controversy for quite some time.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

God loves the popular people

2009-12-03T12:26:00.004-05:00

This story got me thinking

Salvation army is now taking prayer requests.

Does the number of prayers the big guy receives for a particular person make a difference?

Why do people make prayer requests to groups of people?

Does god consider the number of prayers made on behalf of someone as a reason to consider the request?

If not why ask for people to pray for you or someone?

Is god a star fucker and is this why that annoying airhead Tim Tebow is so popular?

Do the 1000 prayers for Joe Bob's health out weigh the single prayer of an unknown child asking for relief from being trapped in an abusive family?

If no, then why make large prayer requests other than to get sympathy from the people you are requesting from and to draw attention to yourself?

SC Southern Baptists vote to "avoid" hate crimes

2009-11-25T12:45:00.004-05:00

Well how very nice to them to "avoid" hate crimes.

To go out of their way to avoid them. Oh what an amazingly brave stance they've taken "avoiding" violence towards other humans.

The resolution calls on Congress to repeal the recently passed legislation and (calls) on Americans "to avoid acts of hatred and violence toward lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered persons."

Fucking assholes.

You could, I guess, denounce violence?

I know, I know it's a shocking option.

Update: Kent Hovind still in Jail

2009-11-24T08:49:00.001-05:00

And still a raging liar and moron.

"I Believe" License plates unconstitutional

2009-11-11T15:20:00.001-05:00

Good.

In a summary judgment ruling, U.S. District Judge Cameron McGowan Currie said the plate was based on a discriminatory law. "Such a law amounts to state endorsement not only of religion in general, but of a specific sect in particular," Currie said.

Not to mention how it was originally crammed through the legislature.

Stewart on FauxNews

2009-10-30T09:41:00.001-05:00

I'm busy as hell with my day job and a couple new businesses I'm starting so posting has been infrequent and is likely to remain so. But here is a clip from last night's The Daily Show where Jon Stewart grills FauxNews.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

For Fox Sake!

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Health Care Crisis

Google heralding the coming of the Anti-Christ

2009-10-07T11:33:00.004-05:00

Google is obviously a satanic organization that is heralding the coming of the Anti-Christ by posting their doodle celebrating the 57th anniversary of the barcode.

More classy leadership from a South Carolina Republican

2009-09-10T06:34:00.004-05:00

Real classy Joe Wilson, real classy.

I have a feeling that Rob Miller's donations are seeing a spike today.

When 18 is not enough

2009-09-02T09:29:00.002-05:00

We just found out that Michelle is expecting our 19th child! Baby 19 is due to arrive around March 18, 2010! This news follows the announcement from our oldest son Josh and his wife, Anna, that our new grand-daughter Mackynzie Renée is on the way with the due date set for October 18, 2009!

Quote of the day

2009-08-17T14:02:00.000-05:00

pdferguson

Faith may not move mountains, but you should see what it does to skyscrapers.

Much better

2009-08-15T12:07:00.002-05:00

Went to Barnes and Noble today, had to correct something.

Dr. StrangeSquid

2009-08-07T18:45:00.002-05:00

VERY poorly done and rushed photoshop. But what the hell.

Those damn Militant Atheists

2009-08-06T07:10:00.001-05:00

Great Job hiring these guys Bush

2009-08-05T07:46:00.003-05:00

This is terrifying. We knew Blackwater was shady as all hell but this has the potential to confirm it in spades.

A former Blackwater employee and an ex-US Marine who has worked as a security operative for the company have made a series of explosive allegations in sworn statements filed on August 3 in federal court in Virginia. The two men claim that the company's owner, Erik Prince, may have murdered or facilitated the murder of individuals who were cooperating with federal authorities investigating the company. The former employee also alleges that Prince "views himself as a Christian crusader tasked with eliminating Muslims and the Islamic faith from the globe," and that Prince's companies "encouraged and rewarded the destruction of Iraqi life."
In their testimony, both men also allege that Blackwater was smuggling weapons into Iraq. One of the men alleges that Prince turned a profit by transporting "illegal" or "unlawful" weapons into the country on Prince's private planes. They also charge that Prince and other Blackwater executives destroyed incriminating videos, emails and other documents and have intentionally deceived the US State Department and other federal agencies. The identities of the two individuals were sealed out of concerns for their safety.

Christian crusader. You people who consider yourself Christians should be the most vocal in opposing and exposing people like this.

Two Words: Cra Zee

2009-08-04T12:22:00.001-05:00

Why the right wing isn't running screaming from these people is beyond me.

Sys Admin Day

2009-07-31T07:31:00.000-05:00

That's right people, don't forget it.

http://www.sysadminday.com/

Both the dumbest and most brilliant iPhone app ever.

2009-07-25T09:49:00.003-05:00

Not meaning to, this kid has come up with the hands down stupidest and most brilliant iPhone app ever.

For eons, people have reached out to the Almighty with prayers and supplications. Soon they might be able to use their iPhones.
Fair Oaks teenager Allen Wright thought up an application for the Apple iPhone called "A Note to God."
It lets iPhone users send prayers into cyberspace and allows them to read the prayers of others. The messages are stored in a database, and users remain anonymous.

G. Gordon Liddy needs an icepack

2009-07-24T08:38:00.000-05:00

G. Gordon Liddy won't sit down for weeks

2009-07-23T23:45:00.001-05:00

After the ass whipping he took on Hardball tonight.

holy shit

Homeopathy

2009-07-22T21:54:00.000-05:00

Oprah and Jenny McCarthy: Two people set on undermining public health

2009-07-22T07:01:00.005-05:00

Even the cartoonists see it.

Via Orac

Sanford's Not-pology

2009-07-19T14:21:00.004-05:00

Our philandering idiot of a Governor didn't do himself any favors with the op-ed piece he sent out across the state this morning. I'm hard pressed to remember a piece from a recently publicly exposed hypocrite that so deflects personal responsibility as much as Sanford did with his exercise in shifting the burden on to his religion. Instead of coming out and saying "I am at fault and I am the one who needs to repair the damage I've caused", Sanford took this opportunity to say that forgiveness is a requirement of those who share his faith. Convenient now that he is the one seeking and desperately needing that forgiveness and wanting an excuse for his behavior.

Not only does he command that he be forgiven he says that God is in control of all relieving himself of at least some of the burden of the responsibility of his disgusting actions against his family, his electorate and his position as Governor of the great State of South Carolina. He also claims to have learned from his morally bankrupt actions "to use this experience to both trust God in his larger work of changing me". Well that's just great Mark. We so appreciate your earnestness in wanting to change yourself in the face of God now that you've been exposed, and deservedly so, in the most public way possible. Where were your standards before? The ones you have clung to citing God and your Christianity when seeking demean and attack others who you claimed didn't share your moral superiority?

I see no sincerity in your words Governor because you're only saying them now that you've been exposed as a liar, a hypocrite and a man of less than exemplary moral fiber. Charges, coincidentally that most people would have to fess up to. The difference is Governor that you have held yourself and others to standards you personally had no ability or desire to follow and you cited your supposed morally superior religion as the reason. You've used that religion as a weapon against decent folks who don't happen to share your opinion on how they should live their lives, and of that you should be ashamed.

You’ve been exposed Governor and it doesn’t say much about your remaining character that you are choosing to hide behind your religion instead of owning up to the full burden of your actions.

You and your religion have been exposed, yet again. God being in control, as you claimed in your piece, sure doesn't speak much of his management skills or choice in his spokespeople.

Do yourself, your family and all of us a favor and keep your mouth shut and your pen capped and slink away into the dark corners of South Carolina history.

Frightening.

2009-07-17T12:24:00.001-05:00

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Sanford or Bauer : Ineffective lying hypocrite or dangerous temper tantrum having child?

2009-07-01T06:37:00.004-05:00

Sitting here torn over whether I would rather have Sanford step down and give raging idiot Andre "Check out my new I Believe License Plate while I crash into your car" Bauer a leg up on the election, or whether it's better just letting him run out the term and continue to be a bumbling mess.

I think I'd rather have Sanford sit up there spinning around bringing more shame to himself, his party and his supposed Christian moral values.

Bauer is terrifying in a "who gave that drunk 7 year old a loaded 12 gauge" sort of way.

Breaking News: New Sanford explanation

2009-06-24T15:04:00.003-05:00

He was in Argentina working on his own Stimulus package.

"When I said I was dying to get out on the Appalachian Trail, I meant to say I was flying to hit some Argentinan tail"

/rimshot

Gov. Sanford: Not the brightest crayon in the box

2009-06-24T14:30:00.002-05:00

I mean damn.

Ok fine you want to get away.

OK.

But don't tell anyone.

Um... ok.

Including your wife...

um.. wait what.

Or your handlers or staff...

uh hold on aren't you the Governor?

Oh and He's fucking some other woman.

Smooth moves there Guvna'

It's like what I used to tell my friends who drove with drugs in their car and would speed or not pay attention to traffic signs. If you're going to break the law, don't break the law.

Governor, if you're going to cheat on your wife, don't set up a situation where the entire county is curious where you disappeared to.

This has to go up as one of the dumbest scandal increasing moves ever by political figure.

Way to go Sanford

2009-06-24T13:46:00.002-05:00

I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

COLUMBIA, S.C. -- South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford admitted to an extramarital affair in an emotional Wednesday afternoon news conference, citing a relationship with a "dear, dear friend" in Argentina.

The governor also resigned as chairman of the Republican Governors Association.

"I've let down a lot of people, that's the bottom line," Mr. Sanford said.

Mr. Sanford's disappearance for several days was first widely reported Monday afternoon, and late Monday his office said the governor was hiking along the Appalachian Trail. The State newspaper reported Wednesday that the governor got off a plane in Atlanta early Wednesday morning from Buenos Aires. He said he had considered hiking on the Appalachian Trail but "wanted to do something exotic," the newspaper reported.

Well he sure as hell can kiss goodbye those already diminishing thoughts of the White House in 2012.

Fucking hypocrite.

ISO Gaps

2009-06-23T16:07:00.001-05:00

Thank you

2009-06-22T14:53:00.004-05:00

Whoever signed me up for David Icke's website...

Much appreciated. I need a little more crazy fucking mail in my spam filter to keep Mabus company.

He gets really cranky with no one reading his insanity.

Evander Holyfield thinks tithing more important than paying his Mortgage

2009-06-22T07:16:00.003-05:00

And Creflo Dollar is more than happy to take his money.

I mean no one thinks that former Champion Holyfield is the brightest crayon in the box but this is just beyond stupid and Creflo is in part responsible for this. Sen. Grassley, I hope you're still investigating that scam artist.

Former Heavyweight boxing champion has been in the news much lately, but not for knocking out his opponent. Holyfield has been the topic of much discussion over his inability to pay child support and the fact that his $10 million home is in foreclosure. But with all of his financial troubles, Holyfield claims in an interview with ESPN that he will tithe before any other obligations such as paying his mortgage. The interview is from a show ESPN produced about the relationships between stars and televangelists that will air this Sunday. Many televangelists preach variations of the “prosperity gospel,” which teaches its followers that through tithing, they’ll be rewarded not just spiritually but also financially. Holyfield has given millions of dollars( over $20 Million to date) to Creflo Dollar’s World Changers Church in Atlanta, ESPN’s John Barr reports.

Zappa plays Zappa in Charleston !

2009-06-04T13:15:00.002-05:00

Dweezil brings his live tribute to his father and his father's music to the Charleston Music Hall on July 27th.

Tickets go on sale this Saturday.

Senator Mike Fair is at it again.

2009-05-27T11:05:00.004-05:00

Once again Sen Fair is interested in wasting the tax payer's dollars introducing a bill aimed at promoting his superstition and attacking science. He's trying to be clever this time, but unfortunately clever and Mike Fair don't go together.

A BILL

TO AMEND ARTICLE 1, CHAPTER 29 OF TITLE 59 OF THE 1976 CODE, RELATING TO GENERAL PROVISIONS CONCERNING SUBJECTS OF INSTRUCTION IN THE STATE'S PUBLIC SCHOOLS, BY ADDING SECTION 59-29-15, TO PROVIDE THAT CURRICULUM USED TO TEACH STUDENTS ABOUT THE ORIGINS OF MANKIND MUST MAINTAIN NEUTRALITY BETWEEN RELIGIOUS FAITHS AND BETWEEN RELIGION AND NON-RELIGION, AND TO PROVIDE THAT CURRICULUM THAT DOES NOT MAINTAIN THE REQUIRED NEUTRALITY MUST BE REVISED OR REPLACED AS SOON AS PRACTICABLE.
Be it enacted by the General Assembly of the State of South Carolina:
SECTION 1. Article 1, Chapter 29 of Title 59 of the 1976 Code is amended by adding:
"Section 59-29-15. (A) The General Assembly finds:
(1) that the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution makes wholly applicable to the states the First Amendment's mandate that Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of or prohibiting the free expression of religion;
(2) that the individual freedom of conscience protected by the First Amendment embraces the right to select any religious faith or none at all;
(3) a proper respect for the First Amendment compels the State to pursue a course of neutrality toward religion, favoring neither one religion over other religions, nor religion over non-religion or the inverse;
(4) that atheism is a school of thought that takes a position on religion and the existence and importance of a Supreme Being;
(5) that the United State Supreme Court recognizes atheism as equivalent to a religion for the purposes of the First Amendment; and
(6) that teaching atheism or any of its principals, including, but not limited to, the denial of the existence of a Supreme Being, as a philosophical system of beliefs or in a manner that affirmatively opposes or shows hostility to religion, thus exhibiting a preference for those who believe in no religion over those who hold religious beliefs, violates the First Amendment.
(B) The State Board of Education shall examine all curriculum in use in this State that purports to teach students about the origins of mankind to determine whether the curriculum maintains neutrality toward religion, favoring neither one religion over other religions, nor religion over non-religion, including atheism. Related to non-religion, the examination must include a review as to whether the curriculum contains a sense of affirmatively opposing or showing hostility to religion, thus preferring those who believe in no religion over those who hold religious beliefs. The duty to review curriculum imposed by this section is continuing and must reoccur periodically after the initial review in order to assure compliance with this section.
(C) If the board's examination determines that any curriculum fails to maintain the neutrality required by subsection (B), the offending curriculum must be revised or replaced as soon as practicable, but no later than the beginning of the next academic year.
(D) This section does not prevent classes being taught pursuant to Section 59-29-230."
SECTION 2. This act takes effect upon approval by the Governor.

----XX----

This web page was last updated on May 26, 2009 at 10:34 AM

Isn't that cute? Check out section B especially. What on earth could he be referring to?????

I'd like to know where Sen. Fair thinks that atheism is being taught in the schools?

I should have known this was coming, it's been a while since Sen. Fair and his group of fucking morons did something like this.

Rocket Surgery

2009-05-27T09:28:00.002-05:00

This sounds fishy

2009-05-18T12:13:00.003-05:00

This story is reminds me of a few my friend who worked in an emergency room used to tell me. I'll leave you with the last sentence first.

He was later admitted into counseling to help him overcome any trauma.

Then go read the article

------------

Update: Here's a medical report on this incident with video. Seriously.

The Jenny McCarthy song

2009-05-15T07:12:00.001-05:00

Ray Comfort gives away free Red Lobster coupons.

2009-05-13T06:49:00.002-05:00

Ray "never met a straw man he didn't like" Comfort is giving away coupons to Red Lobster.

I would like to send you a voucher for $25 to take your wife/friend out for a meal at Red Lobster. Sue and I are personally paying for this as a small gesture to show you that I (we) care about you.

Red Lobster?

He really does hate us.

Creationist Goggles.

2009-05-12T06:50:00.000-05:00

ht LOL God

Atheism

2009-05-09T19:03:00.002-05:00

Dom DeLuise

2009-05-07T13:26:00.001-05:00

National Day of Reason

2009-05-07T11:37:00.002-05:00

Celebrate May 7th, 2009 National Day of Reason.

Hamthrax

2009-05-01T17:53:00.002-05:00

I refuse to call it swine flu or Influenza A (H1N1).

From now on I'm calling it Hamthrax.

1976 Swine Flu public service announcements

2009-05-01T15:45:00.001-05:00

SWINE FLU SCAM ALERT

2009-05-01T09:55:00.002-05:00

Thanks Phil

Dumbest thing written on the internet today

2009-05-01T09:38:00.001-05:00

And it's a big shocker that it comes from king of all idiots, Ray Comfort.

The spread of the so-called 'swine flu' demonstrates yet again how useless and sometimes deadly a mutation can be.

Bacon

2009-04-30T09:20:00.002-05:00

Jesus and Mo.

Happy Führerstodestag.

2009-04-30T07:00:00.001-05:00

Happy Führerstodestag.

More idiocy from outside SC

2009-04-29T17:06:00.002-05:00

This woman represents my birth place district.

ugh

Mabus / Markuse still owes me my FINISHED

2009-04-29T13:23:00.002-05:00

I'm still getting email from Mabus. I'm not sure what to think of this.

Mabus sends me his typical rant, depeche mode, destroy atheists, Nostradamus, I'm crazier that a foot ball bat etc...

So I send him this link

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lobotomy

Then he taunts me again with my promised FINISHED

YOUR FINISHED...

you will burn hell in hell, you little shit....

And then quickly follows up with

actually you are lucky, you are *NOT* going to burn in HELL...

change your ways...

So now I'm confused. Am I burning in Hell? Do I get my FINISHED before or after going to hell or am I really not going to hell but losing out on my FINISHED? Does Depeche Mode have my FINISHED? Did Nostradamus predict me getting my FINISHED?

Confusing.

Unfortunately his email address is now no longer working.

And you thought all the stupid politicians were in South Carolina

2009-04-29T08:05:00.003-05:00

I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter, and I'm not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it's an interesting coincidence.

Ignoring the incredibly irresponsible comment..Um. cough cough... no it was Gerald Ford you gigantic moron.

Do space shuttles only explode under Republican regimes? I'm not blaming Republicans. I just think it's an interesting coincidence.

100% stolen from PZ

Source of Swine Flu.

2009-04-29T06:34:00.002-05:00

I think commenter SC over at PZ's blog has identified a strong possibility of the source of the swine flu.

Has Piglet Rapist Ken Ham been to Mexico recently?

I've always respected Arlen Specter.

2009-04-28T12:28:00.000-05:00

Veteran Pennsylvania Sen. Arlen Specter told colleagues Tuesday that he switched from the Republican to the Democratic Party, Sen. Harry Reid says.

Mabus sends me email

2009-04-28T12:26:00.002-05:00

David Mabus sends me email.

look him up.

if you see him run, fast and far.

He's fucking insane.

Heaven must be in Baltimore

2009-04-23T14:12:00.001-05:00

Win me an IPod touch

2009-04-23T09:52:00.003-05:00

Click through to find some of the web's dumbest non-information and set me up to win an ipod touch.

Creation Minute is an exciting series hosted by Eric Hovind that explores the creation worldview using cutting-edge visual effects and digital technology. Each episode challenges the evolution theory and gives evidence of the Bible's historical and scientific accuracy.

disclaimer: I know there is no way in hell that I can beat PZ but what the hell. The comedy at the other end of that link is worth it.

Catholic logo for the Archdiocesan Youth Commission

2009-04-22T11:37:00.003-05:00

Think I'm kidding?

Guitars

2009-04-20T21:02:00.001-05:00

Happy Eostre

2009-04-12T11:03:00.002-05:00

From the "Know your religious origins file"

Many, perhaps most, Pagan religions in the Mediterranean area had a major seasonal day of religious celebration at or following the Spring Equinox. Cybele, the Phrygian fertility goddess, had a fictional consort who was believed to have been born via a virgin birth. He was Attis, who was believed to have died and been resurrected each year during the period MAR-22 to MAR-25. "About 200 B.C. mystery cults began to appear in Rome just as they had earlier in Greece. Most notable was the Cybele cult centered on Vatican hill ...Associated with the Cybele cult was that of her lover, Attis (the older Tammuz, Osiris, Dionysus, or Orpheus under a new name). He was a god of ever-reviving vegetation. Born of a virgin, he died and was reborn annually. The festival began as a day of blood on Black Friday and culminated after three days in a day of rejoicing over the resurrection." ₃

Wherever Christian worship of Jesus and Pagan worship of Attis were active in the same geographical area in ancient times, Christians "used to celebrate the death and resurrection of Jesus on the same date; and pagans and Christians used to quarrel bitterly about which of their gods was the true prototype and which the imitation."

Many religious historians believe that the death and resurrection legends were first associated with Attis, many centuries before the birth of Jesus. They were simply grafted onto stories of Jesus' life in order to make Christian theology more acceptable to Pagans. Others suggest that many of the events in Jesus' life that were recorded in the gospels were lifted from the life of Krishna, the second person of the Hindu Trinity. Ancient Christians had an alternative explanation; they claimed that Satan had created counterfeit deities in advance of the coming of Christ in order to confuse humanity. ₄ Modern-day Christians generally regard the Attis legend as being a Pagan myth of little value. They regard Jesus' death and resurrection account as being true, and unrelated to the earlier tradition.

Wiccans and other modern-day Neopagans continue to celebrate the Spring Equinox as one of their 8 yearly Sabbats (holy days of celebration). Near the Mediterranean, this is a time of sprouting of the summer's crop; farther north, it is the time for seeding. Their rituals at the Spring Equinox are related primarily to the fertility of the crops and to the balance of the day and night times. Where Wiccans can safely celebrate the Sabbat out of doors without threat of religious persecution, they often incorporate a bonfire into their rituals, jumping over the dying embers is believed to assure fertility of people and crops.

Maceo blow your horn

2009-04-10T21:17:00.001-05:00

Good Friday

2009-04-10T07:22:00.001-05:00

Why is it good?

Because tomorrow is Saturday.

No idea why this particular Friday is any "gooder" than another.

Bacon Sandwich Cures Hangovers

2009-04-09T07:48:00.001-05:00

Duh

Researchers claim food also speeds up the metabolism helping the body get rid of the booze more quickly.

Elin Roberts, of Newcastle University's Centre for Life said: "Food doesn't soak up the alcohol but it does increase your metabolism helping you deal with the after-effects of over indulgence. So food will often help you feel better.

"Bread is high in carbohydrates and bacon is full of protein, which breaks down into amino acids. Your body needs these amino acids, so eating them will make you feel good."

Ms Roberts told The Mirror: "Bingeing on alcohol depletes neurotransmitters too, but bacon contains a high level of aminos which tops these up, giving you a clearer head."

Researchers also found a complex chemical interaction in the cooking of bacon produces the winning combination of taste and smell which is almost irresistible.

The reaction between amino acids in the bacon and reducing sugars in the fat is what provides the sandwich with its appeal.

Ms Roberts said: "The smell of sizzling bacon in a pan is enough to tempt even the staunchest of vegetarians. There's something deeper going on inside. It's not just the idea of a tasty snack. There is some complex chemistry going on.

"Meat is made of mostly protein and water. Inside the protein, it's made up of building blocks we call amino acids. But also, you need some fat. Anyone who's been on a diet knows if you take all the fat from the meat, it just doesn't taste the same. We need some of the fat to give it the flavour."

She explained that the reaction released hundreds of smells and flavours but it is the smell which reels in the eater. "Smell and taste are really closely linked," she said. "If we couldn't smell then taste wouldn't be the same."

From the American Institute for the Destruction of Tooth Fairy Science

2009-04-09T07:28:00.002-05:00

Hat tip to Orac

All Bacon

2009-04-08T12:43:00.000-05:00

From the: Duh file (late April 1st)

A team of Atlanta restaurateurs are planning to open a high-end restaurant that would be America’s first all-bacon establishment.

Called “Bacon-alia,” the eatery would feature a wide variety of bacon-based appetizers, entrees and deserts. “Bacon-alia is a concept whose time has come,” says chef/owner James Gammon. “With bacon mania sweeping America, it’s both a beloved comfort food and the ultimate indulgence.”

While Gammon expects that entrees like the bacon-wrapped Canadian bacon or the Bacturduckencon (a bacon-stuffed chicken in a duck in a turkey encased in bacon) will become signature dishes, he emphasizes that bacon is not the only foodstuff on the menu. “Of course not. That would be crazy. But we’ve put our own spin – or ‘baconized’ – some old standbys. Instead of Green Salad Sprinkled with Bacon Bits, we offer Bacon Bits Sprinkled with Green Salad. The Bacon-alia BLT is a classic bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich, only we substitute thick sheets of bacon for the bread – and spread plenty of Baconaisse on top.”

In general, diners should expect that everything on the menu will be either wrapped in bacon, stuffed with bacon, or both. Meals feature “Bacon Water” and will be topped off with bacon-flavored Altoids. Although the menu includes Japanese and Korean-style bacon recipes, most of the dishes come from the United States, including the “Pig Candy” dessert, slices of bacon broiled with brown sugar.

“And just wait until you see what we’ve done with fatback!” says Gammon.

Vlad strickes again, this time with presents!!

2009-04-06T07:15:00.002-05:00

My Huskey who I refer to as Vlad in these instances, has struck again.

Another song bird made the mistake of flying into my back yard and was dispatched by the killer of the backyard.

How did I find this out? He brought it to me and left it on the bed.

Not his bed, Mrs. BigDumbChimp and my bed.

The new updated death count is now

Vlad 2, Racoons 0
Vlad 2, Rabbits 0
Vlad 2, Rats 0
Vlad 2, Moles 0
Vlad 2, Mouse 0
Vlad 3, indeterminate Song Bird 0

Limited posting for a while. Slammed at work and some other things.

2009-04-02T09:14:00.001-05:00

carry on

Branford Marsalis plays Trane

2009-03-14T20:09:00.001-05:00

Require Bacon?

2009-03-14T01:19:00.002-05:00

Duh

Dumpstaphunk

2009-03-13T20:35:00.003-05:00

Ivan Neville's Dumpstaphunk

Shitty recording but I was standing right...over... there front row all night. ---->

More good stuff here

and here

And they'll be in Chucktown 4/1

Um, Cramer vs. Stewart. Ouch.

2009-03-12T22:26:00.001-05:00

Damn. Stewart didn't hold back. That was an ass reaming.

And deservedly so.

Oh Fuck yeah. Alman Brothers Band and Levon Helm

2009-03-12T20:53:00.000-05:00

50 reasons to not believe in Evolution

2009-03-08T11:49:00.002-05:00

To use what the cool kids are saying

Made of Win

hat tip to PZ's beard

Jenny McCarthy: Even a bigger idiot than we thought.

2009-03-04T13:33:00.004-05:00

And I wasn't sure that was possible. McCarthy is one of the parents of autistic children who feels they need to blame something or someone for their child's condition, so she was sucked into the false hood of the anti-vaccination lunacy. She has campaigned against vaccines as vehicles for toxins and the root cause of autism. She doesn't want people to poison their kids (does anyone) ignoring the the fact that extensive studies have shown there is exactly zero link between vaccinations and autism.

So the following statement reaches so far down in the dumbfuckery hole that I fear it could cause the world to turn in-side out.

"I love Botox, I absolutely love it," she said. "I get it minimally, so I can still move my face. But I really do think it's a savior."

Botox, while "safe" in this application is a poison. Well anything is a poison given the dose, but botox is particularily nasty one in that it is the most lethal protein known.

So let's get this straight. It is ok to inject yourself with this highly lethal toxic substance but it is bad bad evil baddy bad to inject children with what is the result of possibly the greatest lifesaving advance in medical history.

Hypocrisy and stupidity, thay name is Jenny McCarthy

hat tip to the bad astronomer

Dave Holland does not suck

2009-03-01T01:15:00.000-05:00

Mikey Rourke acceptance speech

2009-02-25T12:47:00.002-05:00

This is the greatest / most insane acceptance speech ever.

Bobby Jindal: Jackass for president 2012

2009-02-24T22:41:00.003-05:00

If you watched Governor Jindal's rebuttal tonight, you saw his first speech on a national stage to start his 2012 presidential campaign.

The gall of a republican to say what he did about the failure of government on Katrina is frankly dumbfounding.

Christian Persecution

2009-02-20T08:43:00.001-05:00

ht LOLGOD

too many dicks

2009-02-19T23:56:00.001-05:00

sugar lumps

2009-02-19T23:55:00.001-05:00

Jenny McCarthy: Shut the fuck up

2009-02-12T13:50:00.002-05:00

A special court ruled Thursday that evidence presented in three cases by parents of children with autism did not prove a link between autism and certain early childhood vaccines.

This is merely a court finding but it's backed by ALL of the science out there. Those still making this claim are measurably dangering everyone by duping people into not vaccinating their kids.

200

2009-02-12T08:44:00.000-05:00

Atheist Billboard in Charleston

2009-02-09T07:43:00.007-05:00

There is a new billboard up on I-26 put there by the Lowcountry Humanists. Here it is

Simple, nice and non confrontational right? Well as you could have guessed the Christian Persecution Complex machine is in full effect.

This is a letter to the editor this morning.

I read the recent article regarding a chapter of local secular humanists posting a billboard message about their disbelief in God.
At best this is just plain mean and spiteful. At worst it is an attempt to continue the assault on Christian and religious values.
God is love. So these sad souls want to erect a sign asserting their disbelief in love? I suppose they have the right to do so, but why? Where's the love?

PETER ALAN SMITH
Pitt Street
Charleston

First, I'd like Mr. Smith to tell me exactly how this is mean or spiteful? We as atheists have just as much right to express our opinion as does the faithful. Please Mr. Smith lay out your case and tell me exactly how it is mean or spiteful. Are there any other rights guaranteed by the constitution that Mr. Smith finds objectionable? Women suffrage maybe? Those darn founding fathers who added the Bill of Rights to the constitution, mean and spiteful people they were.

Second, it is very telling that he considers this an assault on his Christian values for us to exercise our freedom of speech. The persecution complex exhibited by many Christians when anyone dares to question their belief is astounding. You'd think they would have enough faith in their faith for this to not affect them. Apparently not. He must have a pretty weak belief in his deity for someone saying something on a billboard to affect him in such a way.

Third, where is the love? Exactly. Where is it Mr. Smith? I thought you Christians were supposed to be the ones driven by love. That statement alone makes my irony meter go into smoking coughing fits that end in its complete vaporization. Mr. Smith, you owe me a new irony meter. God is love in your opinion Mr. Smith. A thorough reading of the Bible makes many of us question that however. We still have love, we just don't need a book to tell us we do or how we do.

Those poor poor persecuted Christians. Their faith under assault by other people exercising their freedom of speech.

Jazz Fest Fail

2009-02-06T10:51:00.002-05:00

I got this email today

Bon Jovi added to Jazz Fest!‏

In which my ADHD costs me

2009-02-04T14:10:00.002-05:00

stop up sink

put pork chops from the local heritage breed hog farm in sink

turn on water

answer phone

run upstairs to check on something for the caller

Realize 10-15 mins later "OH SHIT SINK IS ON"

run downstairs

see wood floors covered in a rapidly increasing lake

shut off water

grab towels

realize that this is going to need more than towels.

Call water damage company.

Have them come out at night to set up drying system

wait.

It happened last night. I went home over lunch to meet them their. Seems that there wasn't that much water but we need to worry about the cabinets and the particle board under them. Why the hell they make solid wood facing cabinets with particle board under supports... actually I know why but god damn it). If we have to tear those out....

So now we have a dehumidifier the size of a refrigerator, a huge vacuum contraption attached to these floor plates that is constantly running sucking the water out and we have air blowing under the cabinets through a few holes we had to drill.

They came out and ran their moisture meters and we're ok, but they gotta leave them a little while longer. They also added a dehumid under the house.

All from all my 15 min of distraction.

fuck

Bitch

2009-01-31T01:14:00.000-05:00

Have I told you about the Dragon in my garage?

2009-01-31T00:00:00.003-05:00

Those of you who should will know this. Those of you who don't, should know this.

The Dragon In My Garage

by Carl Sagan

"A fire-breathing dragon lives in my garage"

Suppose (I'm following a group therapy approach by the psychologist Richard Franklin) I seriously make such an assertion to you. Surely you'd want to check it out, see for yourself. There have been innumerable stories of dragons over the centuries, but no real evidence. What an opportunity!

"Show me," you say. I lead you to my garage. You look inside and see a ladder, empty paint cans, an old tricycle -- but no dragon.

"Where's the dragon?" you ask.

"Oh, she's right here," I reply, waving vaguely. "I neglected to mention that she's an invisible dragon."

You propose spreading flour on the floor of the garage to capture the dragon's footprints.

"Good idea," I say, "but this dragon floats in the air."

Then you'll use an infrared sensor to detect the invisible fire.

"Good idea, but the invisible fire is also heatless."

You'll spray-paint the dragon and make her visible.

"Good idea, but she's an incorporeal dragon and the paint won't stick." And so on. I counter every physical test you propose with a special explanation of why it won't work.

Now, what's the difference between an invisible, incorporeal, floating dragon who spits heatless fire and no dragon at all? If there's no way to disprove my contention, no conceivable experiment that would count against it, what does it mean to say that my dragon exists? Your inability to invalidate my hypothesis is not at all the same thing as proving it true. Claims that cannot be tested, assertions immune to disproof are veridically worthless, whatever value they may have in inspiring us or in exciting our sense of wonder. What I'm asking you to do comes down to believing, in the absence of evidence, on my say-so. The only thing you've really learned from my insistence that there's a dragon in my garage is that something funny is going on inside my head. You'd wonder, if no physical tests apply, what convinced me. The possibility that it was a dream or a hallucination would certainly enter your mind. But then, why am I taking it so seriously? Maybe I need help. At the least, maybe I've seriously underestimated human fallibility. Imagine that, despite none of the tests being successful, you wish to be scrupulously open-minded. So you don't outright reject the notion that there's a fire-breathing dragon in my garage. You merely put it on hold. Present evidence is strongly against it, but if a new body of data emerge you're prepared to examine it and see if it convinces you. Surely it's unfair of me to be offended at not being believed; or to criticize you for being stodgy and unimaginative -- merely because you rendered the Scottish verdict of "not proved."

Imagine that things had gone otherwise. The dragon is invisible, all right, but footprints are being made in the flour as you watch. Your infrared detector reads off-scale. The spray paint reveals a jagged crest bobbing in the air before you. No matter how skeptical you might have been about the existence of dragons -- to say nothing about invisible ones -- you must now acknowledge that there's something here, and that in a preliminary way it's consistent with an invisible, fire-breathing dragon.

Now another scenario: Suppose it's not just me. Suppose that several people of your acquaintance, including people who you're pretty sure don't know each other, all tell you that they have dragons in their garages -- but in every case the evidence is maddeningly elusive. All of us admit we're disturbed at being gripped by so odd a conviction so ill-supported by the physical evidence. None of us is a lunatic. We speculate about what it would mean if invisible dragons were really hiding out in garages all over the world, with us humans just catching on. I'd rather it not be true, I tell you. But maybe all those ancient European and Chinese myths about dragons weren't myths at all.

Gratifyingly, some dragon-size footprints in the flour are now reported. But they're never made when a skeptic is looking. An alternative explanation presents itself. On close examination it seems clear that the footprints could have been faked. Another dragon enthusiast shows up with a burnt finger and attributes it to a rare physical manifestation of the dragon's fiery breath. But again, other possibilities exist. We understand that there are other ways to burn fingers besides the breath of invisible dragons. Such "evidence" -- no matter how important the dragon advocates consider it -- is far from compelling. Once again, the only sensible approach is tentatively to reject the dragon hypothesis, to be open to future physical data, and to wonder what the cause might be that so many apparently sane and sober people share the same strange delusion.

Ray Comfort Irony alert

2009-01-29T14:21:00.004-05:00

The following statement by Ray "Stupid Banana Man" Comfort is so powerful in its blinding stupidity and its nuclear strength ironic blast radius is so large that Irony meters for years will not function correctly.

So let’s be careful when we mock things of which we have no understanding.

/jaw floor

Ray, if that is the case you should stop talking about nearly everything.

Polite and complete take down of an anti-vacination parent

2009-01-29T10:00:00.003-05:00

This is amazing.

I wouldn't have been able to be so polite (let alone so incredibly thorough and all destroying)

via Orac

Mormon vistors and Mrs. BigDumbChimp

2009-01-29T09:00:00.004-05:00

I love my wife. I do.

Sometimes though she does things. Things she thinks are better for everyone involved and I don't necessarily agree.

For example.

The door bell rings. I'm upstairs on the computer deep into a session of photo editing.

Mrs. BigDumbChimp "Honey do not come down stairs."

Me "Ok.... Wait. What?"

Mrs. BigDumbChimp "DO NOT come down stair I'm serious"

door opens, some mumbling, door closes

Me coming to the realization what just happened

Me running down stairs and looking out the front door windows to see two mormons on bikes riding off to annoy the next door neighbor.

Me "Honey, what the fuck?"

Mrs. BigDumbChimp "Do not go chasing after them"

Me "Honey I was just going to ask them a few things about their religion. They came to our house to proselytize, they are secure in their beliefs there is nothing wrong with me asking them a few things. For example I wonder if they know that their religion was started by a fraud and a criminal. And I was going to ask them about their Magic underw.."

Mrs. BigDumbChimp "Honey, I'm not in the mood. This was better for everyone."

Me. "Honey I was going to be polite. They came HERE. I didn't go to their house. I wanted to ask them about governance by divine revel.."

Mrs. BigDumbChimp "Honey. NOT NOW I"M NOT INTERESTED IN TALKING ABOUT THIS"

Me .../sulk

This makes me very happy

2009-01-26T11:43:00.002-05:00

Kevin Trudeau, purveyor of lies and fraud and possible cause of the hastening of the deaths of many is busted by the FTC.

A federal judge has ordered infomercial marketer Kevin Trudeau to pay more than $37 million for violating a 2004 stipulated order by misrepresenting the content of his book, “The Weight Loss Cure ‘They’ Don’t Want You to Know About.”

In August 2008, Judge Robert W. Gettleman of the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of Illinois had ordered Trudeau to pay more than $5 million and banned him, for three years, from producing or publishing infomercials for products in which he has an interest. The ruling confirmed an earlier contempt finding, the second such finding against Trudeau in the past four years.

Urged by both the FTC and Trudeau to reconsider aspects of its August order, on November 4 Judge Gettleman amended the judgment to $37,616,161, the amount consumers paid in response to the deceptive infomercials. The judge also revised the three-year ban to prohibit Trudeau from “disseminating or assisting others in disseminating” any infomercial for any informational publication in which he has an interest. On December 11, the court denied Trudeau’s request to reconsider or stay this ruling.

Inaugeration Quick thoughts

2009-01-20T12:23:00.005-05:00

Cheney in a wheelchair gives me a bit of Dr. Strangelove meets the Penguin from Batman schadenfreud.

Rick Warren's invocation was terrible and Jefferson is rolling over in his grave. The lord's prayer had no place there.

Obama did great and personally for me, his call out to bring Science back to the forefront and to acknowledge non-believers was fantastic.

He remained tough on terror while making obvious calls to reverse many of the disastrous policies of the last 8 years. A call for the rule of law and not making a choice between our ideals and our safety was particularly pointed at the ex-president over his left shoulder.

While being mindful of the state of the country he was uplifting and confident.

The benediction wasn't nearly as bad as the invocation, with a little more about hope and inclusion with some humor too. But I still think it has no place.

Blog Update

2009-01-19T13:11:00.001-05:00

I'm beyond swamped with my Day job and some other side projects I have going. I'm not sure how long this is going to last so blog postings will be sparse at best.

Cold Sweat

2008-12-30T22:35:00.002-05:00

Feelin Funky Tonight

Frrred!!

Shake Everything you got

2008-12-30T21:30:00.001-05:00

More Parker big band

2008-12-30T21:14:00.000-05:00

Maceo Parker does Ray Charles

2008-12-30T21:09:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure how I've missed this whole concert but damn. So good. Maceo Parker is one of my favorite artists and this whole show is amazing.

Here's a link to all the Songs.

The Southern Avenger seems to forget one important fact

2008-12-30T14:00:00.010-05:00

In his latest post in the Charleston City paper, the Southern Avenger tries but fails miserably to make a case for the I Believe license plates. One main reason is that he omits the most important fact.

Recently a federal judge decided that South Carolina’s plans to issue a license plate featuring a cross and the words “I Believe” amounted to government sponsorship of religion. If consistent, this judge will now spend her Christmas not at home with her family, but challenging the legality of a federal holiday that gives government preference to followers of the Christian faith.

First he starts off with a Lie of omission and a completely ridiculous analogy. The courts have ruled that a government Christmas holiday has a secular purpose and therefor does not violate the establishment clause. Ganulin v. United States 1999.

Though not mentioned anywhere in the Constitution, the alleged “separation of church and state” that is now considered an integral part of American law has to be one of the most misunderstood and misused phrases in this nation’s history. Originally mentioned by Thomas Jefferson, the Founding Fathers genuinely feared the toxic results of mixing church and state, given their recent experience with the Church of England.

Yes not mentioned by name but deeply intertwined in the meaning put forth by Madison and Jefferson. There are many ideas not lined out by name in the Constitution that are evident in the interpretations and upheld by the courts many times over. The founding fathers understood the consequences to both institutions when the other was allowed to meddle. It not only protects the government but religion.

Even though the framers of the Constitution chose not to endorse a “Church of America,” that did not mean they failed to acknowledge that the overwhelming majority of their countrymen were Christians. Our forefathers didn’t fear a faithful populace, but they were afraid of theology and church politics informing policy. James Madison believed that a representative republic was impossible if not for a religious people. The very notion that one day Americans would no longer have the freedom to express their religious convictions through public institutions would not have given the Founding Fathers reason to celebrate — but cause to revolt.

Yes and Madison also said:

Nothwithstanding the general progress made within the two last centuries in favour of this branch of liberty, & the full establishment of it, in some parts of our Country, there remains in others a strong bias towards the old error, that without some sort of alliance or coalition between Gov' & Religion neither can be duly supported: Such indeed is the tendency to such a coalition, and such its corrupting influence on both the parties, that the danger cannot be too carefully guarded agst.. And in a Gov' of opinion, like ours, the only effectual guard must be found in the soundness and stability of the general opinion on the subject. Every new & successful example therefore of a perfect separation between ecclesiastical and civil matters, is of importance. And I have no doubt that every new example, will succeed, as every past one has done, in shewing that religion & Gov will both exist in greater purity, the less they are mixed together

The point here being, which I said above, that when you mix the two both suffer. And here we get to the main issue with this column, Mr. Souther Avenger completely omits the the fact that the SC legislature pushed the plates through avoiding any and all of the in place processes for specialty plate. By doing so they are endorsing the plate and its message and therefore violating at least two of the prongs of the Lemon Test.

Continuing...

Christianity is so deeply woven into the cultural fabric of the West that it’s impossible to imagine an America without it, from our calendar, to our wedding and funeral rituals, and even the popular lexicon, where slang like “good Lord” and “geez” refer to the same savior. I have even heard agnostics and atheists say both, not because they changed their minds, but because they use the same American vernacular we all do. In trying to run from religion, even politically-correct pressure to substitute “holiday” for Christmas is futile, as the word is derived from “holy day.” And in less PC-times, that a man like Irving Berlin was Jewish, yet would write an American classic like “White Christmas,” wasn’t the least bit odd to earlier generations at ease with their country’s historical identity.

A completely ridiculous paragraph. I hope someone gave Mr. Avenger a nice shiny lighter for Christmas so he can light that strawman on fire. No one is denying that Christianity is part, a big part, of the history of the United States. No one is asking that Christians not continue to practice it as they please, and no one is suggesting that it isn't a part of many funerals, weddings or other private events. Making any suggestion, however slight it may be, does nothing but undermine his argument which is lame at best. All that those who oppose the intrusion of religion ask is that the religious don't violate well established precedent on the use of public funds / property to endorse / celebrate their faith. Well that and they don't try and cram it down our throats in every sector of American life.

More cultural fact than theological intrusion, the Christian-based traditions that litter our national culture should be no more offensive to sensible and mature Americans — believers or not — than Mom, baseball, or apple pie. That S.C. has somehow, just now, violated the separation of church and state by issuing Christian-themed license plates is a bizarre court decision, as if the government has finally stepped over some arbitrary line that has been at least blurred, since this country’s inception. And the notion that not offering the state’s Hindus, Muslims, and Satanists their own license plates amounts to a violation of their rights, is as silly as saying newcomers from New Jersey and California have the right not to be subjected to palmetto trees or the Carolina wren.

Could he get it more wrong? This is the prime example of Mr Avenger missing the point on a number of levels. One, I'm not offended by seeing a Christmas tree in someone's window or a crucifix on a Church. I am angered by actions that result in the misuse of public property and funds when the government is hijacked by the religious for their own personal beliefs. Two, as I mentioned above it isn't the plate itself (though I don't think we should be giving any religion plates), it is the fact that the SC legislature went out of their way to approve the plates bypassing the in place process. In doing so the State Legislature is endorsing that particular religion. There are no two ways about it. Hello establishment clause.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion

And three, the last sentence may be one of the weakest analogies I've seen recently. How he can try and claim that two of the recognized state symbols of SC are in any way the same as the symbol of a religion and all the consequences involved is just plain ridiculous. There's no analogy to be had there. It's just false. States use state symbols because.... HOLY SHIT they are state symbols. Until the constitution is changed and we all started bowing down to Jesus every Sunday as one of the state's three gods (god, holy spirit and Jesus... you didn't think Christianity was monotheistic did you?), the use of them on an endorsed license plate isn't even close to the same as his poor examples.

Update

2008-12-30T13:20:00.002-05:00

Even though half or more of my company is off this week, it's one of my busiest as we are moving to a new WAN and service provider next week.

Christmas was good with the family. Lots of cooking, eating, drinking, photography and general merriment including a good blistering of my fingers pulling mints. This is essentially the recipe.... pretty much at least.

So anyway, I don't have much to post and not nearly feeling snarky enough to slam some idiots (comments excluded from that as I'm sure they'll come out of the woodwork), so posting is likely to continue to be sparse.

Trick Bag

2008-12-27T21:55:00.001-05:00

Yep. I'm drinkin