Scientific Storkism

Ovulation versus cretinism

Two different theories exist concerning the origin of children:
the theory of sexual reproduction, and the theory of the stork.
Many people believe in the theory of sexual reproduction because
they have been taught this theory at school.

In reality, however, many of the world's leading scientists are in
favour of the theory of the stork. If the theory of sexual
reproduction is taught in schools, it must only be taught as a
theory and not as the truth. Alternative theories, such as the theory
of the stork, must also be taught.

Evidence supporting the theory of the stork includes the following:

1. It is a scientifically established fact that the stork does exist.
This can be confirmed by every ornithologist.

2. The alledged human foetal development contains several features
that the theory of sexual reproduction is unable to explain.

3. The theory of sexual reproduction implies that a child is
approximately nine months old at birth. This is an absurd claim.
Everyone knows that a newborn child is newborn.

4. According to the theory of sexual reproduction, children are a
result of sexual intercourse. There are, however, several well
documented cases where sexual intercourse has not led to the birth
of a child.

5. Statistical studies in the Netherlands have indicated a positive
correlation between the birth rate and the number of storks.
Both are decreasing.

6. The theory of the stork can be investigated by rigorous scientific
methods.The only assumption involved is that children are delivered
by the stork.

(Original version by Erkki Aalto, Dept. of Obstetrics, Gynaecology
and Stork Science, University of Helsinki ---
English version by Jopi Louko, Institute of Stork Research,
University of Alberta)


hat tip: Wesley Elsberry via The Panda's Thumb